Yesterday was the boys’ first full day at their new daycare. My mom helped me pay for these first few weeks and I think it’s tainting the way I feel about them even going.

First let me say that they both did well yesterday. Only a little crying from the peanut, and she had a tough time putting him down for his naps, but once asleep he slept well. And the preshus, who has been to daycare before, did well all day. She mentioned his short attention span and that he was a bit aggressive with the other boys, but in general she thinks his behaviour will improve with time as he gets accustomed to being there. I hope so.

Meanwhile since we don’t have money to pay I’m feeling some extreme guilt and stress over the fact that I’m sending them there every day. All feelings, of course, are related to the fact that my mother laid a huge guilt trip on me when she gave me the cheque for the sitter a few days ago. She made me feel about three inches tall over the fact that we didn’t plan properly to account for this huge bill we have to deal with. Her fall back accusation is why can’t we do everything we need to take care of our children like she did when she had to raise three children on her own. She’s a nurse and was always able to pull extra shifts in order to make ends meet. Well, extra shifts aren’t an option for the hubs and I, we’re just thankful for the jobs we have. And getting better paying jobs and/or second jobs has been pretty much impossible thus far, but we’re still trying. I’m not making excuses, I know we’ve screwed this up royally by ignoring the problem for as long as we have. This daycare bill is going to break us. Everything would be fine without it. It’s just so expensive!!!!

Our next steps are to move to a cheaper place. A smaller apartment with utilities included that I’m hoping will save us at least $500 a month in expenses. Of course we can’t afford to hire movers this time around so that’s going to be a massive pain in the ass. I’m also researching trading in the minivan we got last year, but we still owe so much on it I’m not sure a trade-in would be worth it. So far from what I’ve found out we’d end up with a seriously downgraded used car (which I expected) but only an $80 per month savings. That doesn’t seem like a smart move to me. But I’ll keep researching it, check what other dealerships are willing to offer.


  1. Well, despite the guilt trip, at least your mom came through.
    Paying for daycare for two kids at once is yet another reason Pookah will remain an only child for a while. I just can’t do it. I might as well stay at home! It would honestly be like another mortgage. It’s A LOT. Even now with just him. :-(. But everything will get better! You’ll find a way!

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