Following the peanut’s ASD diagnosis I’ve been spending all my brain power trying to come to terms with what it all means for him, and, to be quite honest, what it means for me. For him it means that going forward I now have a bit of a road map with respect to how I manage his educational and recreational activities, and for me it will be a big change to how I raise him as compared to how his brother is being raised.
Let me stop myself here. I don’t think that I’m expressing myself the way I want to. When I write it all down it sounds very different from what it feels like in my head. I don’t want what I write about ASD going forward to sound like it’s a bad diagnosis that we now have to deal with. It’s not.
I feel like this diagnosis is a small weight off my shoulders when I think about all of his quirks and differences that make him who he is. This diagnosis hasn’t changed who he is. It has changed the way I plan on mothering him going forward.
Crap, that sounds bad too.
What I mean is, he’s still my little peanut, but now I have a better insight into how his brain works, how he thinks, why he does things the way he does. I now have a direction to turn to with regards to how I can help him be who he is, and I’m so happy that we finally have a direction to move in, and that isn’t just me guessing at what makes him tick, it’s a very big change for all of us in some ways, and it’s business as usual in others.
Does any of that make sense?
It does and it doesn’t to me. I guess that’s why it’s taken me 2 weeks to finally sit down to blog about it.
My son is who he is, he’s not going to change. My job is, and has always been, to raise him to be the best peanut he can be, and now I know what tools I need to use to get ‘er done.
There. I think that just about sums it up.
Am I sad about the diagnosis? Yes and no. Yes because it’s proof of what we suspected all along, that things will be just a little bit harder for him.
Life will be just a little bit harder for him.
But again, it already has been, and he’s growing up fine so far, so there’s that. And no, this confirmation has made me happy because we’re no longer flapping about in the wind, trying to help him and not knowing the best way to do it and feeling like we’re failing him with every tantrum. Now we know. That makes me happy.
I’m also very happy because with this diagnosis we can finally get him the help he needs, not because we think he’s special and needs extra help, but because he IS special and we can now access the kinds of programs that will help him be the Sheldon Cooper I know he can be (and probably already is!)